1. I Proposed To My Girlfriend, But She’d Been Replaced

    vgperson:

    A 2ch thread from December 2011 about… um…

    Well, about confusion, we’ll say.

    Read More

    (Source: morinogorira.seesaa.net)



    2.    2,764 notes

  2. THE BEST TRAIN CONVERSATION I HAVE EVER OVERHEARD

    • Man 1: But I'm not Gay!
    • Man 2: Yeah, but if you WERE. Thor or Loki?
    • Man 1: but I'm not!
    • Man 2: IRRELEVANT! THOR OR LOKI!
    • Man 1: honestly?
    • Man 2: THOR OR LOKI!
    • Man 1: probably Iron Man.
    • Man 2: SERIOUSLY? TONY STARK?
    • Man 1: yeah. I'd love to be Robet Downey Jr's bitch. God, that man....
    • Man 2: ooh I know what you mean. how would he proceed?
    • Man 1: well we'd be having dinner and he'd have his hand on my leg and he'd whisper in my ear and tell me exactly what he was going to do to me.
    • Man 2: oh yeah..
    • Man 1: and then his hand'd go further to the top of my leg and start grasping my-
    • Random Woman: EXCUSE ME THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS TRAIN.
    • *awkward silence*
    • Man 2: ...and you said you werent gay!
    3.    33,840 notes

  3. black-nata:

    i made this because of reasons



    4.    11,319 notes

  4. “I can’t stop thinking about it. Why was I locked inside? And if I wasn’t, how could I have entered the room? If it was a mistake, who made it and how? Please, just consider it for a moment, Oreki. Oreki…I can’t stop thinking about it!”

    (Source: pinkinkinhime)

    5.    130 notes

  5. fuckyeahbuffy: claidissa: 30 Days of Female Awesome | Day 01: Favorite Lead Female Character Buffy Summers “I walk. I talk. I shop. I sneeze. I’m gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back. There’s trees in the desert since you moved out, and I don’t sleep on a bed of bones. Now give me back my friends.” Thank you for this gorgeous submission.

    fuckyeahbuffy:

    claidissa:

    30 Days of Female Awesome | Day 01: Favorite Lead Female Character

    Buffy Summers

    “I walk. I talk. I shop. I sneeze. I’m gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back. There’s trees in the desert since you moved out, and I don’t sleep on a bed of bones. Now give me back my friends.”

    Thank you for this gorgeous submission.

    6.    157 notes

  6. pernillo:

    areyoutryingtodeduceme:

    infinitefacepalm:

    downtothelastbullet:

    greenet:

    tikaka:

    clockworksexual:

    iwoulddeduceyoutwice:

    sugarkitteh:

    bigbangpunch:

    BRITISH VERSION OF THIS:

    1. BOIL THE KETTLE - IF YOU HAVE TO USE A STOVE OR MICROWAVE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE

    2. USE ANY WATER IN EXISTENCE - FUCK FILTERING THAT SHIT YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE YOUR SHOW IS BACK ON IN 5 MINUTES PRESS A

    3. THROW WHATEVER THE HELL TEABAG YOU HAVE IN THERE - FUCK LOOSE TEA THAT IS FOR WHEN YOU ORDER TEA OUTSIDE

    4. USE YOUR STIRRING TEABAG METHOD OF CHOICE, ADD SUGAR/SWEETENER LIKE A BOSS OR NOT IF YOU ARE A HEALTHY BOSS

    5. GRUMBLE LIKE A FISHERMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE KETTLE AREA TO GO TO THE FRIDGE TO GET MILK AND BACK TO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU ADD IT

    6. RUN BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING, TAKE A COMFORT SIP AND THEN EITHER FINISH IT OR FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOAN ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU LET IT GO COLD

    ****

    EDIT: IF YOU CAN’T SPOT IF NOT FROM THIS ALONE THEN THE NATURE OF MY TUMBLR THAT I’M NOT MAKING A DIG AT HER COMIC SIMPLY POINTING OUT HOW LAZY WE ARE OVER HERE WITH TEA THEN GET OFF THE INTERNET. THE COMIC COVERS ALL TEA OPTIONS. COME AT ME BRO.

    THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION

    JUST GET THE BLOODY BILLY ON THE FIRE AND THROW IN A FISTFUL OF TEA FOR EACH BUGGER AFTER THE WATER BOILS

    TAKE OFF FIRE

    WAIT UNTIL IT REACHES DESIRED STRENGTH

    CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING A SPOON STOOD UPRIGHT IN IT IS IDEAL

    WHACK BILLY TO ENCOURAGE SINKING OF TEA LEAVES

    POUR IT OUT

    ADD AS MUCH MILK AND SUGAR AS YOU LIKE OR NOT AT ALL VEGEMITE IS ACCEPTABLE

    DRINK IT DOWN WHILE RIDING OFF INTO THE OUTBACK ON YOUR BIG RED KANGAROO ON A SADDLE MADE OF DROPBEAR PELTS, WITH YOUR TRUSTY BRUMBY PACKING ALONG YOUR SWAG AND A DINGO BY YOUR SIDE

    CHEERS MATE

    CANADIAN VERSION

    WHAT IS ENGLAND DOING?

    OK NOW COPY THAT SHIT AND JUST CHANGE A FEW THINGS

    NO PUSSY REAL “TEAWARE”, WE HAVE NORMAL COFFEE MUGS FOR THAT SHIT.

    USE WHATEVER APPLIANCE YOU WANT TO HEAT THE DAMN WATER, YEAH WE SIGNED OUR FUCKING FREEDOM. NO ONE SAID IT WAS MANDATORY FOR KETTLES!

    SIT LIKE A CLASSY MAN/WOMAN AND WAIT FOR IT TO BOIL

    EAT SOME BACON

    THROW A TEABAG IN THERE, LOOSE TEA IS FOR MY MONARCHIST AUNT.

    DUMP SO MUCH SUGAR IN IT THAT YOU GET DIABETES AND SO MUCH MILK THAT YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND MILK THE COW, BETSY.

    TAKE A SIP.

    SCALD YOURSELF AND ALMOST DROP MUG, SPILLING IT DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR BACK IN THE PROCESS.

    REALIZE TEA ISN’T TOO MUCH OF YOUR THING AND GO BACK TO COFFEE.

    AMERICAN VERSION

    FIND A CUP(?) (ANY CLEAN, CUP-LIKE INSTRUMENT WILL WORK)

    FILL IT WITH TAP WATER

    ADD FIVE SPOONFULS OF INSTANT ICED TEA POWDER

    STIR THAT SHIT SO HARD YOU SPILL SOME ON THE COUNTER, LET GO OF THE SPOON SO YOU CAN WATCH IT SPIN

    DRINK IT AND CHOKE BECAUSE IT’S TOO SWEET

    POUR SOME INTO THE SINK AND ADD WATER IN HOPES THAT IT WILL TASTE ACCEPTABLE

    REPEAT UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT

    ADD ICE CUBES AND A STRAW TO ENHANCE CLASSINESS

    FINNISH VERSION


    FUCK THE KETTLE, JUST TAKE THE PAIL FROM THE SAUNA

    IF THE WATER ISN’T BOILING, YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG

    TOSS THE BIRCH VIHTA IN THE WATER AND LET IT SEEP FOR A WHILE

    GET A BOTTLE OF VODKA

    DRINK THE VODKA

    FORGET THE “TEA” UNTIL IT COOLS DOWN

    RINSE YOUR NAKED BODY WITH THE BIRCH TEA

    GO ROLL IN THE SNOW AND SCREAM FOR YOUR ANCIENT GODS

    NORWEGIAN VERSION

    BOIL WATER IN ELECTRIC KETTLE

    TAKE OUT INSTANT COFFEE

    DRINK COFFEE

    …WHAT DO YOU MEAN “TEA”?

    SOUTHERN VERSION

    GET A POT AND PUT SOME WATER AND A BUNCH OF TEA BAGS IN THAT SONOFABITCH

    BOIL THAT SHIT

    PUT THAT SHIT IN A PITCHER

    ADD SUGAR

    KEEP ADDING SUGAR

    NO, YOU’RE NOT DONE YET

    WHEN THE SUGAR HAS REACHED ITS SATURATION POINT AND IS NO LONGER ACTUALLY DISSOLVING IN BOILING WATER THEN YOU’RE DONE

    (i am not making this up i know people who make it that way)

    FILL THE REST OF THAT SHIT UP WITH WATER AND PUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ICEBOX

    ENJOY THAT SHIT WITH A NICE TASTY PLATE OF DEEP-FRIED THINGS

    How To Make Tea. In multiple countries.

    YOU’RE WELCOME, TUMBLR.

    DANISH VERSION

    GRAB BEER FROM FRIDGE BECAUSE IT’S GOING TO TAKE TOO LONG TO MAKE ANYTHING, AND YOU’RE THIRSTY NOW. 

    (via coveredinsnow-)

    7.    26,298 notes

  7. Nick Fury just really wants the Avengers to go the fuck to sleep.



    (Samuel L. Jackson’s audio book of Go The Fuck To Sleep)

    (Source: bartonesque)

    8.    15,121 notes

  8. funniest10k: Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

    funniest10k:

    Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

    (Source: jeyanth)

    9.    107,776 notes

  9. wontdrivetillsummer: the-orange-gentleman: potatobeenz: You get home from a long day at work and turn on the TV. It’s been a long week, so you think to yourself- maybe i’ll take the family to a movie on Saturday. Maybe we’ll even go on a vacation soon! We could visit museums and go to plays and see all sorts of fun attractions. When you turned the TV on, nothing happened. There are no actors to entertain you. When you went to the movie theater, nothing was showing. There were no advertisements to tell you that anything was showing, so you went to the theater to find out. Nothing playing. There is no one to film and create movies for you. Well at least your vacation will be fun, right? Not like there will be any plays to see and there won’t be anything in the art museums. Well at least you have the shack you are living in that you made out of cardboard and sheets. Not like you could find an architect to build you a house with all the money you’re making as an engineer.  THIS i think useless is a typo for useful.

    wontdrivetillsummer:

    the-orange-gentleman:

    potatobeenz:

    You get home from a long day at work and turn on the TV. It’s been a long week, so you think to yourself- maybe i’ll take the family to a movie on Saturday. Maybe we’ll even go on a vacation soon! We could visit museums and go to plays and see all sorts of fun attractions. 

    When you turned the TV on, nothing happened. There are no actors to entertain you. 
    When you went to the movie theater, nothing was showing. There were no advertisements to tell you that anything was showing, so you went to the theater to find out. Nothing playing. There is no one to film and create movies for you. Well at least your vacation will be fun, right? Not like there will be any plays to see and there won’t be anything in the art museums. 
    Well at least you have the shack you are living in that you made out of cardboard and sheets.

    Not like you could find an architect to build you a house with all the money you’re making as an engineer. 

    THIS

    i think useless is a typo for useful.

    (Source: swyhis, via peachdango)

    10.    41,689 notes

  10. chirpofjoy:

    ajtheiceman:

    Fun fact: almost all of the Janitor’s lines were improv

    What is it with steel wool?
    Is it steel? Or is it wool?

    (via peachdango)

    11.    17,683 notes